I remember a day when I got excited about purchasing new clothes, shoes, or household items. It felt good, there was an adrenaline rush with a good sale, I never gave the purchase a second thought. Well, today I realized those days are long gone.
I am looking forward to some much needed girl time this coming weekend. Two of my dearest friends and I are meeting each other in San Antonio to spend time together. I thought it would be fun to run over to the mall and pick out a new pair of shoes or new black leggings to wear with flats or boots (which I don't own). I had my 3 year old daughter with me. The shoe department, at this rather large store, made her jump with glee. She was literally giddy looking at all the shoe options. She didn't even seem to notice they were way too big for her feet. I, on the other hand, had feelings of being nervous, overwhelmed, feeling out of place etc. It was if I became frozen in one spot. I honestly wanted to leave immediately but decided to stay since she was enjoying herself so much. I also told myself that it was a math lesson...she was counting all of the shoes! :)
As we walked around, I picked up one ballet flat after another, shocked at the prices. Seriously, $79 for a pair of ballet flats! They don't even stay flat when you take it off your foot, they roll up!!! It hit me that I can't remember the last time I bought a pair of shoes other than tennis shoes or Reef flip flops... Ugh! It is just pathetic.
When I found myself getting more and more frustrated with the shoes I decided to hunt for leggings. That was even worse! Again, $70 for a pair of black leggings!!! Now, I know I could find leggings at Wal Mart, but my legs and backside need $70 worth of support. I don't want to feeling like everything is wiggling all of the place.
So, I put back the leggings and wondered back to the shoes department. The fourth sales lady asked me if I needed any help. At first, I said no and then asked if I could try on one pair of flats. She brought them out and unwrapped them for me. As I slid one on (never got to the second shoe), I decided they were too narrow. I think she was shocked at my record speed for trying on and making a decision.
What is my problem? Why can't I just enjoy buying something for myself? I wish I could have been giddy like my three year old, eyes glazed over, and ready to buy. So this weekend, I will wear the same gold toned sandals I have worn all summer. Did I mention they use to be my mom's? She has great taste in shoes and we (thankfully) wear the same size. Luckily, in Texas you can wear sandals 10 months out of the year. They will be accompanied by my favorite pair of jeans (which are becoming frayed at the bottom). I believe I bought those two years ago...
I realize this is not an uplifting, feel good post but I just had to get that off my chest. On the flip side, since I didn't buy anything I don't have to suffer through buyer's remorse. :)