Or if I am referring to the men in my house, then I mean the lack of using adjectives. Let me explain.
My oldest is getting very close to crossing over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. Over the weekend, my husband and son went on a camp out while our other two kids and myself stayed home. This was the first camp out in our fives years of camp out experience that I did not attend. At this point, the boys are learning to really work through the various parts of camping without the constant help of an adult (ex: setting up tents, sleeping in a tent without Mom or Dad, cooking, using a compass and various camping tools, etc.). It seems to be an easy step for dads but a bit of a freak out session for moms...well, okay for me!
So, on Friday I sent my two oldest men off to the woods. The two I have known and loved the longest - off to the big, scary, wild woods. Okay, okay, off to a state park about an hour away. In my heart it might as well have been somewhere with Bear Grills.
I knew my husband would not send me text messages or pictures because he is not the texting type. :) So I tried to convince myself that no news was good news. Easier said than done.
I was shocked Saturday evening when I received two pictures from my husband. I was literally jumping up and down at the proof that they were alive!!!!!
Manning the grill
So I did what any mom would do... I responded with questions. This is where the use of adjectives or lack of anything descriptive became an issue. Here is the conversation that took place directly after I received the picture.
Me/Mom/Woman: Hi!!!! How's it going? Did y'all get soaked this morning? Who is his tent mate?
Charlie/Dad/Man: Will talk when get home
**Insert me flipping out because what could a statement like that possibly mean? Also insert that there was about 30 million years passing between each text!
Me/Mom/Woman: Okay, but that makes me worry even more. Has it been positive?
Charlie/Dad/Man: pause.....no response....cricket....cricket....cricket
**Insert me really pacing the house at this point and remembering how much he was not a phone type person when we were dating - ugh!
Me/Mom/Woman: Okay seriously, you can't leave me hanging like that. Do you only want to talk at home because you don't feel like texting or because things aren't going well?
Charlie/Dad/Man: The whole day was fine.
**Insert me stating aloud - FINE?! WHAT DOES FINE MEAN?
Me/Mom/Woman: What does fine mean? Fine, like we are just getting through or fine like good?
**Insert me not being able to let this go. I need more details!
Me/Mom/Woman: On a scale of 1-10?
Charlie/Dad/Man: 8 to 9
**Insert my blood pressure coming way down and me praising Jesus! :)
Me/Mom/Woman: Okay that makes my heart happy. I will leave you alone now. I love you both!
Now, do we all see how that text conversation could have been so much shorter if he had just used a few adjectives from the beginning? Seriously, we went from "Will talk more at home" to an 8 or 9 on the scale. That is a huge difference! But not to my husband/dad/man - it all meant the same. I on the other hand have aged by five years that will be evident to everyone by the wrinkles on my face. The damage cannot be undone.
My true love has always been an "under communicator" and I am definitely an "over communicator". We knew this 19 years ago and have managed to make it work. Luckily, we can laugh about things like this. I think in a way he was having fun stringing me along and I was having fun driving him nuts with 20 questions. :) I love him - all of him -
...even his lack of adjectives. :)
**It is already the same way between my daughter and sons. She will ask them specific questions expecting specific answers. When they don't respond in detail she lets them know it. She also tattled on one of her brother's this weekend while using air quotes.... she's a little fireball. She will need a husband like her father. We are already praying for the one...:)