Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Dear Jeans - I am leaving you for Leggings and Y.P. (a.k.a. Yoga Pants)

I read a blog post today that said you should eliminate as much stress as possible during the holiday season.  You know, it suggested things such as, not over-scheduling, trying not to be the "Pinterest Mom", being intentional with family traditions, trying to relax and just enjoy this time with family, etc.  I thought about this for quite some time.  I am pretty good at keeping our schedule manageable.  I have my pinterest freak out moments but for the most part I really do enjoy the craft and festive part of the holidays.  All in all,  I manage the holidays well.  Except for one thing.

This one thing must go...

This one thing is evil...

This one thing does not make for a healthy relationship and will no doubt ruin my holiday season...

MY JEANS!!!!!

So today, I make it official and I pledge to end this relationship with my jeans.  Here goes...

Dear Jeans,
The time has  come, this relationship between the two of us is unhealthy.  I try and I try to stay positive but you just drag me down - always such the Negative Nellie.  When I put you on and begin to pull you up, I like you... until about mid thigh.  Then you turn all ugly and rude.  What did I ever do to you?!  You mock me when I accidentally catch a glimpse of my mid-thigh struggle in the mirror.  When I do get you up to my waist, you make me grand plie and attempt the runner's stretch.  If I sit in a position that is anything less than perfect posture, you make me look like a muffin.  Sometimes, you even make me loose my breath when I put on my shoes.  And even with all of this, I thought we could make it work.  But your ridiculous behavior on Thanksgiving was the final straw.  I can't go on like this.

Again, I have tried and tried with this relationship but you just won't give, even when you are filled with room to stretch.  You are stubborn.  You are rigid.  You are no longer a part of me.  I am a better person with Leggings and Y.P. (a.k.a Yoga Pants).  Leggings and Y.P. are so forgiving.  They never mock me and they are so eager to give.  So, this is it.  We are done for this holiday season.  I was given the advice to get rid of all things stressful and that would be you, Jeans.  I have a feeling I am going to be a much more pleasant holiday shopper, Christmas baker, and all around better person if I spend this time with Leggings and Y.P.  Until mid 2016, you will live in the closet.  I hope you can understand, during this time of year MY EMOTIONAL STATE NEEDS TO BE HEALTHY MORE THAN MY HIPS.




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